Do you Feel Embarrassed about Your Home, too?

I hate to admit this, but I'm embarrassed about my home. I feel like an ungrateful brat saying that. After all, I have SO much to be thankful for - a roof over my head, heat to keep me warm, a bed to sleep in. But the truth is that my home is not a reflection of me and that causes shame, embarrassment and stress for me.

It was difficult for me to move into someone else's home after we got married. My husband had been living in his childhood home for the past few years. And it seemed like the sane, right, money-saving decision for me just to move in with him. But I couldn't help but feel like I was moving into a 90s, cat-mom-chic home that had been ravaged by bachelors the past few years.

The first few weeks I lived there - I cleaned and I sorted and I donated and I threw out tons of stuff! But now six months later, even after replacing the nerf gun mantle display with pictures of me and my husband, I still don't feel like I love my home. It's yellow and dark and there is wallpaper and carpet EVERYWHERE - even in the bathroom! I don't want to have people over because I'm embarrassed. I feel like my friends and family are judging me based on my home. For better or worse it seems that my home is a reflection of who I am, an extension of my identity.

I've tried to tell myself to be more grateful or to change my perspective. I've tried to be satisfied with it the way it is. But I keep finding myself stressed and ashamed whenever we entertain.

The truth is that creating beauty in our homes is not a vain endeavor. The first act God did as Creator was create beauty in the garden. He made an environment that man could enjoy and thrive it. That is what I want for my home - I want it to be an oasis, one that makes me smile when I walk through the door. I want my home to be a nurturing environment that my husband and I can relax in, do life in, work in and even entertain in.

- BUT -

I'm limited by resources. Time and money are not something I have a lot of to throw around. And besides that, we rent. So no major renovation is going to go down to transform this place.

So, if you're in the same boat that I'm in, what is there to do?

Figure out the REAL problem.

The real problem with my home is that it just doesn't reflect my personality and design style. Its got outdated furniture and wall colors that just don't appeal to me. It's also not an open floor plan so it feels cave-like at times.

What's the real problem with your home? Not enough this or that? Too dark? Too cluttered? Not your design style? Figuring out the REAL problem will help you address it.

Accept that there will NEED to be Sacrifice

Time, money, fear, expectations - something is going to have to be sacrificed to get the home you love. If you don't have a lot of money (like me!) to update your home, you're going to have to spend some time DIY-ing it. You're going to have to get over your fear of failure or making a mistake and just start trying things. Sure, you'll make mistakes, but that's the only way to learn!

Make a Plan

I'm all about planning and saving! Especially when you have little to start with, its important that you use your resources wisely. Since I'm limited on time and money, I need to spend both those resources where it really counts - like in painting a room or recovering a chair. I'm going for maximum impact with minimal effort. Making a plan with what items to change to reflect my personality more will keep me from wasting time or money.

Get Busy

Ok, I'm sooo guilty of staying in the planning stage. I'm really good at making the plans, but not so good at carrying them out. I think its fear - fear of making a mistake, fear of wasting my precious time and money. (Ok, it might also be a little laziness!) But designing and decorating your home to be something you love is going to take work. Its going to take some hussle, some tears, and some sweat. So once you've decided what to sacrifice and what to do, get busy doing it!

I recently updated my Home Office. I expected it to take me about a week and $2000. It took only $1500 but it also took a whole month. That was hard money to spend - after all we are saving for a house. That was a hard month as my office - where I work - was in shambles every day. I sweated. I cried. I drove around town buying furniture. I spent nights wrecking my hands trying to assemble bookshelves. It was hard. But that month and that $1500 bought me something invaluable - an office that's me. My home office now functions to meet my needs as an entrepreneur. I smile when I walk in there every morning. I feel at ease working there during the day. $1500 didn't buy me stuff, it bought me sanity...eventually, once all the work was done! I feel a sense of pride and accomplishment. I still have a ton to do with my home, but that was one GIANT victory for me!

So do you feel embarrassed by your home, too? Are you ready to stop feeling ashamed of the blank walls, clutter, and lack of style in your home? Figure out the problem, accept the sacrifice, make a plan, and get busy!

Psst...you can do all this in my Design Bootcamp: My no-fail system to design a home you Love!