Decorating Secrets for a Romantic Master Bedroom

Is your home stressful or restful?!

If you're a hard-working business woman like me, who also feels the burden and responsibility of keeping up with the household, you may find that coming home from work is more stressful than restful. Instead of being met by a clean, inviting home, you're greeted by piles of clutter, a long to-do list, and home repairs that keep adding up. This added stress can lead to that fight you have later with your husband about the dishes in the sink and a loss of patience with your little one when they ask one more time for an after-dinner snack. So how do you create a home environment that's not only visually pleasing but also fosters coping with day-to-day stress? Well, I believe the first step is designing and decorating your Master Bedroom to be a romantic, restful retreat.

The Problem - A Stressful Home

As women, we're more sensitive to our home environments, right? We're constantly imagining the judgments of others. We're apologizing for the renovations we haven't done yet. And we're feeling guilty about the uncleanly, cluttered environment our family is living in. But working a full or part-time job, or even just being a full-time mommy, leaves little time for home design. It's something we brush off as a nice dream, but an irrelevant one because we don't have the time or money to do it right now. Sure, it'd be nice to have a renovated kitchen that looks good, we think. But what we don't realize is that our cluttered, disorganized, and visually unappealing home is causing us stress, loss of connection with our family members, and adverse health issues because of its poor design or lack thereof.

See Interior Design isn't just about the visual. It's also about the functional and the emotional. Your cramped kitchen isn't just costing you entertaining in the evening. You're also losing valuable family time because you have no eat-in area for family dinners. You're losing connecting with your kids while they do homework and you cook dinner. You're losing laughter with friends and family because your kitchen isn't big enough to host the next major event. And you're losing sanity because your cabinets are overflowing with disorganized pots, pans, and plastic containers. What you get instead of all this is more verbal outbursts, social withdrawal, and food and alcohol abuse.

The Solution - A Restful Home

Your home should be a restful environment that restores peace and sanity when you come home at night rather than one that continues to raise your stress level. This is why I put the Master Bedroom first in creating a restorative home rather than having a stressful home. It's easy for us as women to put everyone else first. But in reality, the best thing we can do for others and for our families is to take care of ourselves. If we are happy and healthy, those around us will be too.

Think about the morning after you didn't get a good night sleep. You stayed up late to finish putting the laundry away. It took longer than you thought because your dresser drawers are all cluttered and once neatly-folded clothes end up in a heap rather than organized for easy access. You tossed and turned all night worrying about the meeting with your client the next day. Your husband came to bed late and woke you up. Then he started snoring and sleep was all but a distant dream at that point. In the morning, you're short-tempered getting your kids off to school. You fight with your husband over the phone at lunch. And you're frustrated in your client meeting that afternoon. When you come home, nobody's had a good day. Why? Because you didn't get a chance to restore the night before and it set off a chain reaction in your family.

Let's replay that night in a restorative home. A restorative home has drawers with containers so laundry is quickly and easily put away. You crawl into bed and journal your thoughts about your meeting tomorrow. You feel better after writing things down. Your husband joins you because you two like to talk and connect before going to bed in the evenings. He reassures you about your meeting when you share with him your worries. You say goodnight, turn the lights off, and even though his snoring still bothers you, you manage to get a better night sleep. In the morning, you feel refreshed and confident as you drop your kids at school and head to your meeting. Your husband gives you a bit of courage at lunchtime over the phone because he knows what's on your mind.

It's vital to our relationships and our well-being that we design a home that allows us to connect with our family and rest in the evenings. And the best place to start creating and building a restorative home is in your Master Bedroom.

Decorating Secrets for a Romantic Master Bedroom

Most DIY-ers get bedroom design all wrong. They focus only on the looks or the visual of the space. While visual aesthetics are important, they are only one part of the triangle. You also have to design a bedroom that functions and meets you (and your partner's) basic needs as well as provides for your emotional well-being (a.k.a allows you to rest, recharge, and reconnect with your significant other).

Here's where women go wrong. A wife likes the color red so she paints her whole bedroom red. She adds in a floral duvet cover and some bright curtains. And she thinks, "Wow! It looks beautiful!" But over the next few weeks and months, problems start to arise. Her husband isn't pursuing her as much for emotional and physical intimacy and neither of them are getting much sleep in this bedroom space. So what went wrong? She designed purely for the visual. She didn't take into account the color psychology of red - that in our culture it represents action, emergency, and alarm. It excites the brain rather than helps it to rest. The second thing is the wife didn't consult with her partner. She didn't realize that the floral patterns and red color remind him of his mother's bedroom which turn him off from intimacy. She didn't realize that the amount of decor and feminine colors emasculate him. So for all the wife's good intentions, she made a more visually pleasing environment but not a restful environment full of intimacy and love for her and her husband.

To create a romantic master bedroom is simply to create a remote place that is sacred to you and your husband. It's a place where you both can escape from the stresses of everyday life. Whether that's interpreted into pinks, frills, flowers, or a football-themed room is based on you, your husband, and your past experiences as well as your personalities. More on the Do's and Don'ts of Decorating a Romantic Master Bedroom below!

How to Create a Romantic Master Bedroom Setting

1. Preserve the sanctuary that is your bedroom only for sleeping, intimacy, and relaxation.

That desk in the corner, the exercise ball and weights, the mini fridge, coffee maker, and TV - they all need to move out of the bedroom. You have an entire house to eat, entertain yourself, work, and exercise in. Stop living in just 200 square feet! The office space and workout equipment are only causing you guilt and stress because you aren't doing more. The TV is keeping you from honest, intimate, vulnerable conversations with yourself and your husband. Kick the distractions to the curb and only allow things into your bedroom space that will enhance your basic needs of sleeping, sex, and rest.

Bonus Decorating Tip: If you live alone, add in lots of pictures of memories with family and friends. Seeing these "social snacks" in your bedroom will be a tangible reminder of your connection to others. You'll feel more loved than alone.

2. Get Visual

Don't assume you know what your husband or partner wants in their bedroom. Ask them to find a picture of their ideal bedroom. Or maybe ask them what is a favorite hotel or resort they have stayed in. Compare this visual picture with your dream bedroom picture and see where the two are similar. What elements are the same in both bedrooms? What things are different? This is a great starting point for designing a bedroom that will appeal to both your tastes.

3. Declutter, but also prepare for new clutter

Clutter is a huge sources of depression and stress for both men and women. The problem is that as humans we are constantly creating clutter around us. We don't live in a vaccuum. So even if you declutter once, you have to prepare for that clutter to come back around again. My best tip is to determine which areas of clutter in your master bedroom stress you out the most and set up systems to deal with them first.

For example, I don't mind my husband's clean clothes piled on top of his dresser (while his drawers are empty!) but I can't stand his dirty clothes being strewn all over the floor. Since this habit isn't going to change, I added a basket by his side of the bed to contain the homeless clothes, then I can dump them in the laundry hamper on laundry day.

Decorating Do's and Don'ts for a Romantic, Restful Master Bedroom

1. Do Use Color Wisely

I recommend using blues, greens, and lavenders in your bedroom colors and decor. These remind us the most of water and nature. And studies have found that as human beings we are drawn toward natural environments. Stay away from reds because they tend to wake up and aggravate the brain. Whites can be very relaxing but also sterile.

Struggle with using color in your home? Learn my Top Five Color Rules!

2. Don't stick with just overhead lighting

Overhead lighting abound in most homes because it is inexpensive and efficient to illuminate your room. Your bedroom is NOT about efficiency. Its about romance, mystery, intrigue, rest, and comfort. Add in reading lamps for softer lighting that will help your brain calm down at night. Make sure to plug them into outlets that are hardwired to switches. Or purchase remote control outlets so you can turn lights on without crossing the room in the dark.

3. Do create an area of wonder

Romance is not just about remoteness and escape. It is also about intrigue, mystery, wonder, and excitement. Create an area of wonder in your bedroom that will keep you coming back for more. This might be a claw foot tub that you added when you renovated the bathroom and now you have a spa-like area with relaxing oils, candles, and a good book. This might be a wall shelf that displays mementos you and your husband bring back from your trips. It could be a library collection of books and a chaise lounge in the corner of your bedroom. Or (like me) it could be a collection of $1 Disney toys that your husband surprises you with just to see you smile. Get creative and bring some magic back into your bedroom and relationship!

4. Don't use abstract art

Abstract art has been studied versus natural landscapes and found to be more anxiety-inducing when used in healing environments and interiors. In fact, patients at hospitals recovering from surgery and illness who stared at a natural landscape for at least five minutes everyday had lowered blood pressure and reduced muscle tension. So for art in your bedroom, try to use natural landscapes, nature photography, or family photos. You want to surround yourself with calming images that are positive to help you relax and de-stress.

5. Do make your bed each morning

My last decorating tip to create a romantic master bedroom is to make your bed each morning. I know. I am guilty of not doing this too! But you are 19% more likely to get a good night's sleep when you make your bed. Think about staying in a hotel room when you leave for the day and come back. The maid has cleaned up and made the bed and everything feels fresh again! Take five minutes (because you're worth it!) and make your bed in the morning so you can come home and fall into a plush bed ready for relaxation and rest.

So would you rather have a stressful home or a restful home? I think the answer is pretty clear! And creating a master bedroom that is romantic and restful doesn't have to cost an arm and a leg. With just some paint and a few organizing tricks, you can completely makeover your bedroom so its a restorative room for you to come home to. I know for someone like me who spends 90% of her time at home and also struggles from mental illness, its important my home be restful, promote well being, and help me feel connected to my family and friends.

Need help designing a functional, emotionally positive, and visually pleasing space? Let’s chat about an E-Design project and how I can help you get a more restful home environment >